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nsj10
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Name: nathaniel
Gender: Male
Interests: singing, piano, reading, soccer
Expertise: growing beards....plural
Occupation: Serving God, now as a student
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/8/2006
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| Well guys, the understatement of the year would be that I don't get on Xanga very much any more. Judging by my email notifications, many of you have also cut back on the things you write about on here as well. Over the past few months I have found my interest in social networks, like Xanga and Facebook, to subside. I use Facebook to keep in touch with my friends, primarily the ones who I don't see very often, and that's about it. I like Xanga with its "journal entry-like" feeling and the convenience of checking everyone else's new posts by having them sent to my email, but even with all these nice things I get on this morning and realize that the eight and a half months that have gone by since my last Xanga post might have been the most eventful eight and a half months of my life up to this point...I guess going through the events themselves, and trying to write them in my actual journal kept me from updating this "online journal."
I'm not sure if I can do it, but I'll seek to quickly update you on only the biggest highlights of that time. My last entry was right after I finished my freshman year of college. That day, Friday May 2nd, I drove home from NC State and the next day I headed down to Easley, SC for my summer internship. That weekend my grandfather died. Despite the struggles of losing a grandfather, my Heavenly Father helped me to quickly settle in and adjust to living in South Carolina. I had the tremendous blessing and privilege of living with the DiPrimas for three months, I very much consider them family and I hope they all think of me as a son and brother! I was able to attend Covenant Reformed Baptist Church (w/ Pastors Jeff Smith & Robert Gonzales). Getting to know, and loving and serving that church, as I could, were gifts from the Lord! He also helped and blessed me in my summer work. I was employed by Hatfield Builders Inc. due to the graciousness of one of my dad's close friends from college. It's a relatively small, commercial-building, general contractor and boy did I learn a lot! Through the Hatfields I met the wonderful Hostetler family, and I've especially enjoyed getting to know their oldest son Jared this year here at NC State. Although I enjoyed learning and working, and being in South Carolina...one of the highlights of the summer months was the times I was able to spend with my family. We spend a week at the beach each year with my dad's immediate family, and I was able to surprise my family by driving home the Friday afternoon before the scheduled Saturday-to-Saturday vacation. I was also the special beneficiary of several surprise care-packages from my loving sister. Still, I was ready when the work ended and my time to go home finally came. I was able to spend two quiet weeks at home before school started and during that time I had two highlights and one major event. The first highlight of my time at home was that on my way home I was able to pick up Sarah Hornby, who'd been in Germany, and drive her, along with Anthony DiPrima, up to Mebane to spend the weekend there. That weekend was almost a mini-Retreat! Several out-of-towners were able to hang out with us that weekend, and my highlight (and probably everyone else's) was the night that we went to Brad Kinnison's home to eat, dance, watch the Retreat Talent Show, and top it off with a time of song and prayer. My second highlight of that time was the opportunity to have Jacob Griswold stay with me and my family for a week. I love that guy too, and the Lord has blessed me by causing him to be a good friend to me. It has always been helpful to get together and talk so that we can encourage and pray for one another. The big event that occurred during that time was my 20th birthday. That is right, I have now lived in more than two decades, and I'll admit it...I feel old. It's been exciting and sobering to reflect on all the things that my father did while he was in his 20's! It has definitely led me to the Cross to plead for more grace to be more like my dad, especially since I want to be doing many of the same things he did!
Well, that brings us to school, and well...school is school, BUT I had a wonderfully interesting Statics class last semester. My work this summer definitely helped me in the classroom! Last semester, and already this semester, I have been able to take principles and concepts from the field and apply them to what the teacher is trying to teach in the classroom. On that note, the Lord has really helped me as I seek to find employment for this summer. I need to do several more things, like keeping in touch with HBI and following up on some interviews I had last semester, but the Lord has helped me to trust and hope in Him.
I realize that I have dramatically overlooked many things from this summer and last semester (especially times at RUF, witnessing opportunities, and friendships that I've made) BUT, I wanted to be able to spend the rest of my time focusing on the highlights of Christmas Break. I was dog-tired going into break, but I had a wonderful three week break! My time easily divides into three categories: 1)Home 2)Atlanta & 3)Michigan. When school finished I was able to rest and reconnect with family and church friends during the first week of break. That Friday night we had a wonderful, God-honoring Christmas Concert. On Saturday, my family celebrated Christmas in the morning and then I drove my other siblings down to Atlanta. On the way down we stopped by the DiPrimas for a couple hours and we were able to see Lorenzo (their newest and cutest little addition), eat a wonderful meal courtesy of Mrs. DiPrima and Sam, and spend some time catching up with everyone. That evening we arrived safely at my grandparents' home, and it was a delight to see them. The grandfather who I mentioned earlier as having died was on my mom’s side of the family. Although my dad's parents are experiencing the struggles of aging, the Lord has really kept them in comparatively good health. Every Christmas it has been our tradition for all the immediate family to gather at their home and spend a week with them, and it is so much fun for the thirteen of us to pile in together and enjoy one another's fellowship. We celebrated with them Christmas Eve, at their church, and then Christmas morning. In the afternoon we drove a short distance north and spent the rest of the day with mom's family. It was understandably quieter this year, but it was very good to be with them all and enjoy their company again.
The day after Christmas, Katherine and I drove back to North Carolina so that we could fly up to Detroit, Michigan for the annual Youth Retreat hosted by GIRBC in Grand Rapids. The Lord protected us again with safety. He clearly blessed the speaker, Pastor Borgman, as he came and addressed the topic "Subject to None, Servant of All: the Liberty and Calling of a Christian." It really was an amazing time! With all the many friends that I’m able see, it's easy to forget that the reason why I come is to hear God's Word, but the Lord was very gracious and caused all of Retreat to go well. Retreat ran smoothly, although a few Retreaters did get stuck in Chicago on the way up to MI, and a few of us got sick or at least seemed to get symptoms of the flu….in the big picture things went well. However, between singing my head off, staying up late to catch up with friends, getting up early to prepare my heart for the day, and playing rugby in the snow...I somehow managed to lose my voice (didn't see that coming).
THANKFULLY (!) that did not adversely affect the second half of my time in Michigan. Two words fitly describe the focus of that time, Sarah Hornby. Katherine and I were able to spend four days after Retreat in Canton with the Hornbys, and the Lord REALLY blessed that time. Despite my health, I was able to sit down and talk with her parents for several hours about my interest in her, and to make a long story short the Lord blessed our time talking! In His sovereignty, we agreed upon many matters and I came out of that meeting with permission to take Sarah aside and talk with her. I took the first opportunity I had to pull Sarah aside and then we talked for several hours together. Again, the Lord led and blessed that time. He helped us to be on the same page, with the same interests, all stemming from a strong friendship that He had formed between us over the last couple years. We are young, new and inexperienced to this type of serious relationship, but to be honest...I wouldn't have it any other way. At times the distance between us and our inexperience can be daunting, but it's a vivid reminder to run to Christ for help. Lord willing, our journey has many months and milestones to go but even in this, our earliest moments, I eagerly expect that the same Savior who changed and cleansed our hearts through the work of His redeeming Blood will show Himself to be merciful and gracious as He guides our hearts while we seek to patiently, lovingly, and wisely protect and pursue one another's hearts! Like I said, I’d rather be new and inexperienced! Now I am forced to place all my hope and trust in Christ and I can pursue Sarah’s whole heart, and have a whole heart (which the Lord’s mercifully protected) to give to her! Coming out of Christmas Break, and these last eight and a half months, I have fresh, experiential knowledge of what Romans 8:31-39 really means. Armed with that knowledge and a hope for the future that far outweighs any personal pleasure I will experience here on earth, I eagerly look forward to serving Christ and growing more like Him this year having tasted and seen that the Lord is good!
* "And this is eternal life, that they know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent." Jn. 17:3 | | |
| I'm up early this morning with too many thoughts running through my head to convey them all on paper. In the last twelve hours I entered a room, which I had come to dread, as a freshman with a monster Physics exam looming ahead, and I exited two hours later as a sophomore.
With the semester ending I am faced with new trails to pursue and new activities to enjoy. I am happy for the break, but already miss the many friends I made this year at NC State. God blessed my time there so richly. Psalm 34:8 is one of my favorite verses from Psalms declaring, "Oh taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!" Countless times I have been forced by some mistake, trial, or sin to cry out like the man in Mark 9:24, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" That same number of times, regardless of the pit I have fallen into, the Lord has blessed me by bringing me through each one always whispering to my heart "Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit you way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass." (Psalm 37:4-5)
The Lord typically uses means to do this. He has used several such means of grace in my life this year. He has patched the breaches in my ever-pressured dike by assuring me of His love through the ministry of His Word, and has shown Himself to be stronger than the tempestuous ocean that beats upon the hearts of each of His children. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11) He has sweetened my life by urging me to come to Him with my cares and burdens (Isaiah 40:11 "He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those who are with young.") then, He has strengthened me through my time of prayer and fellowship with Him (Matthew 7:7-11 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you....[v.11] if you then being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"). Another tangible evidence of His protection and blessing here at State has been the many godly friendships my Father has given me. What a blessing; Christian fellowship, accountability, and encouragement! It reminds me of two passages: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion, but woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up..." and Hebrews 12:1-2, 12-13a, "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God...[v.12] Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet." These passages have been proven true in my short experience here at State. Godly friendships, can I even begin to set a price upon them? While I cannot do that, I do eagerly anticipate continuing to share with these dear brothers and sisters as we "press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:14) Oh what Christ's return will be! At that time He will usher in an eternity of sinless fellowship with Him, and sinless fellowship with all those who have similarly been saved by Christ's grace.
My wonderful year can be summed up in the Paul's words to Timothy in II Timothy 2:8 as he sought to strengthen Timothy for a life of service to God, "Remember Jesus Christ, of the seed of David, risen from the dead according to my gospel." Throughout the year, that is the message which has come back to me again and again, and I am indebted to Pastor Fisher for recently preaching on this very verse, otherwise I would have struggled and rambled (as you all know I easily do), but instead I can rely on the simple, but infallible, Word of Scripture. I must remind myself of this truth daily. In hindsight I can testify as Paul later does in the same epistle, II Timothy 4:17, "But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me, and that all the Gentiles might hear. Also I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion." Having experienced such grace I can trust God to continue to protect me even as I go through trials now as my family and I anticipate the loss of a loved one to cancer in the next few days. Please pray for my dear mother. What a loving and caring woman she is, and she especially is struggling as her father nears eternity. Pray with me that the testimonies of Psalm 23 would ring true for my mom during this time ("Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; ...You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil, my cup runs over.")
Do not misunderstand this post simply because of the prayer request mentioned at the end. This year has been a time of wonder and joy. He has matured me as I begin to venture from the protective boundary of my home, and yet He has strengthened me as I continue to build on the foundation formed in that same home. And throughout the entire year my experience has been one in which I am reminded again, "Taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!"
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| Recently I have begun reading the biography of C.H. Spurgeon. Two things that have struck me regarding the personality and situation that typified Spurgeon and his wife Susannah are their burden for the lost and the continued health problems they both suffered through. In this book, the author provides quotes at the beginning of the chapters and throughout the content, so I decided to put down a couple that were special to me that pertained to these two topics.
First one by Spurgeon on his heart's desire.
-> "Coming one Thursday in the late autumn from an engagement beyond Dulwich, my way led up to th etop of the Herne Hill ridge. I came along the level out of which rises the steep hill I had to ascend. While I was on the lower ground, riding in a hansom cab, I saw a light before me, and when I came near the hill, I marked that light gradually go up the hill, leaving a train of stars behind it. This line of new-born stars remained in the form of one lamp, and then another and another. It reached from the foot of the hill to its summit. I did not see the lamplighter. I do not know his name, nor his age, nor his residence; but I saw the lights which he had kindled, and these remained when he himself had gone his way. As I rode along I thought to myself, "How earnestly do I wish that my life may be spent in lighting one soul after another with the sacred flame of eternal life! I would myself be as much as possible unseen while at my work, and would vanish into eternal brilliance above when my work is done."
The Second is from Mrs. Spurgeon a few years after her husband's death.
-> "I have traveled far now on life's journey, and having climbed one of the few remaining hills between earth and heaven, I stand awhile on this vantage ground and look back across the country through which the Lord had led me....I can see two pilgrims treading the highway of life together, hand in hand-heart linked to heart. True, they have had rivers to ford, mountains to cross, fierce enemies to fight and many dangers to go through. But the Guide was watchful, their Deliverer unfailing, and of them it might truly be said, 'In all their affliction He was afflicted, and the Angel of His presence saved them; in His love and in His pity He redeemed them; and He bare them and carried them all the days of old.' Mostly they wen ton their way singing; and for one of them at least, there was no greater joy than to tell others of the grace and glory of the blessed King to whose land he was hasting. And while he thus spoke, the power of the Lord was seen and the angels rejoiced over repenting sinners. But at last they came to a place on the road where two ways met. And here, amidst the terrors of a storm such as they had never before encountered, the parted company-the one being caught up to the invisible glory, and the other, battered and bruised by the awful tempest, henceforth toiling along the road-alone! But the 'goodness and mercy' which for so many years had followed the two travelers, did not leave the solitary one. Rather did the tenderness of the Lord 'lead softly,' and chose green pastures for the tired feet, and still waters for the solace and refreshment of His trembling child. He gave, moreover, into her hands a solemn charge-to help fellow pilgrims along the road, therewith filling her life with blessed interest, and healing her own deep sorrow by giving her power to relieve and comfort others."
->This "solemn charge that filled Susannah's life with blessed interest" was a book ministry which started years before. It proved a means of grace during her ill health and after her husband's death. For years she led a ministry that began when she used her own money to buy books for needy pastors in the area. With donations the ministry eventually grew to where she passed out thousands of spiritually sound books to hundreds of pastors. Donations were also given to provide for the needs of these poor families. This quote came from a clipping in her second book chronicling consecutive ten year periods of ministry in this specific area.
CH Spurgeon and his wife are models in their desire to serve and glorify God. They both dealt with extreme suffering and loss, but the love and grace they experienced from God was always enough to care for their needs. After reading this, please meditate briefly on these passages. I Timothy 4:12-16; I Samuel 16:5-7,11-13; and Ezekiel 3:17-19,27
Thank you for your time. Have a great Easter weekend!
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| I apologize for the title, but I had voice a little of the 2 hours that I just finished listening to. God places all things in one's life for a reason, so I know it wasn't pointless, and I am truly happy to have gone to the session. If anything I have been introduced to one more person for whom I can pray. Not that I expect my prayers to "leash" God and MAKE Him answer my wishes (because I've been a good boy Santa), but I do pray that God would yet save this man, this human. I'm praying for him because he is a human, and because I hope that he was one of the ones CHOSEN by God. However, I quickly digress and cause any/all of you who read this either late at night or early in the morning to scratch your heads in confusion. The only reason why I'm writing this is to fulfill my promise to write out Spurgeon's encouraging words from his book Faith's Checkbook. So here's where it gets good, Nathaniel's words stop and the post segues into Spurgeon's applied word of THE WORD. So with no further ado Spurgeon starts with this verse.
All these blessings shall come on thee...if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God. Blessed shalt thou be in the city. Deuteronomy 28:2-3
Blessing in the City
The city is full of care, and he who has to go there from day to day finds it to be a place of great bustle and sore travail: its temptations, losses, and worries are many. But to go there with the divine blessing takes the edge off its difficulty; to remain there with that blessing is to find pleasure in its duties, and strength equal to its demands.
A blessing in the city may not make us great, but it will keep us good; it may not make us rich, but it will preserve our honesty. Whether we are porters, clerks, managers, merchants, or magistrates, the city will afford us opportunities for usefulness. It is good fishing where there are shoals of fish, and it is hopeful to work for our Lord amid the thronging crowds. We might prefer the quiet of a country life; but if called to town, we may certainly prefer it because there is room for our energies.
Today let us expect good things because of this promise, and let our care be to have an open ear to "the voice of the Lord," and a ready hand to execute His bidding. Obedience brings the blessing. In keeping His commandments, "there is great reward"(Psalm 19:11)
God bless you today!
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| I'm taking a short amount of time to try to summarize how break has been because when classes start tomorrow I will be sucked head over heels into the whirlwind of lectures, hwk, papers, tests, and speeches. Thankfully the Lord, I believe, has enabled me to take a few courses that I really look forward to with anticipation. I'll be taking a social dancing class which will expose me to the basics of several popular dance styles. I will also be taking a music/choral course which I hope will be a very enjoyable learning experience for me. And lastly, I will be taking a core class with several friends who will hopefully be used of God to keep me dedicated and focused on Calculus II during this time where God has caused me to be a student first and foremost.
Break this year has flown by. I remember dreaming last year of a month long college break...well it didn't happen. Although I'm not complaining. I ended up getting a full three weeks off, and the Lord really blessed that time. I was able to get back into the routine of living at home every day of the week, and after adjusting to that we drove down to Atlanta to be with family. I really enjoyed being able to share a long weekend with family. Because of the distance we don't see each other very often, but that makes it all the more special when we do spend time together. So I am definitely already anticipating our annual beach trip coming up this summer. Just as I was adjusting to having thirteen people in one home it was time to drive back home before flying up to GR. The Lord richly blessed my time up in MI this year. Last year's retreat was a special time for me, and the Lord used many means to enable me to build and strengthen friendships with many of you all this year. So, it was especially good for me to be able to spend time with you face to face, where we could talk, and share retreat together again this year.
I couldn't scratch the surface regarding the ways that God has blessed and convicted me during break. I feel/see a lot of changes going on. In light of that I would ask for you prayers. I struggle to no small degree with wanting/knowing how and where to serve God. Some of that rises out of a "fear" to live up to the expectations that I have either 1)placed on myself, or 2)view others as having placed on me. I need grace from God to maintain a life of faith and obedience to God. I don't think of myself as being especially gifted, and I view my services as primarily being ones that all Christians share in, namely serving other Christians through friendship, prayer, etc. Originally I wrote a much longer version of this, and it was good for me to spend a couple days in Grace Baptist's library and in my own bedroom at home studying the Scriptures. I won't bore you with my thoughts, but will instead just mention a few of the sections I studied. [(1)Matt22:37-40 (2)Heb.12:1-3,12-15 (3)Matt.16:24-27 (4)Gal.6 (5)Roms.12:3-8] The exhortation of Romans chapter 12 is what I would emphasize for myself, and what I would call you to search out for yourselves. I believe that God chose every believer before time, and thus He has a plan and purpose for that person that is orchestrated for that person's best and His best glory. I do believe that, pray that God would help my unbelief(Mark9:24), and that He would cause my life to be of service. As I said, I struggle with my desire to serve God, something all Christians can sympathize with. Some people know this of me better than others, and I know that others of you can sympathize with this burden while others will/can not, but I especially struggle with the knowing how blessed I have been, and not living in light of that. Growing up in the home I did, I should be twice the boy that I am now. Recognizing from exhortation, study and daily examples the way a man should live, love, and lead; and yet here I am falling so short.
I will leave it at that to avoid struggling with other sins needlessly. But I do petition your prayers for myself. I know that God knows my heart, and that He is pleased with my finger paintings, but I need the grace to balance contentment with where God has placed me now, and a desire to be what I was meant to be. I AM glad that Christ's saving grace has freed me to struggle with my sins, as opposed to wallowing happily in them when I was enslaved to them. It HAS been good to talk to several of you. God has helped me gain encouragement and perspective regarding my struggles in light of your words and struggles. Even so Lord come! The Lord uses everything in your life to bring about His glory and your good Christian! Seek His face(Matt.5:8->Spurgeon's sweet promise today[Faith's Checkbook], and Col.1:9-10) that you might know how to serve Him, that you might be satisfied with the pace that God has ordained for you at this time. For some of you, this isn't new stuff that I'm talking about. This
has been the subject and burden of my heart for some time. As I have
had the opportunity to talk with family and close friends God has
blessed the words you have spoken. Many of you are in my prayers, and if there is ever a way in which I can serve or pray with/for you let me know. Thank you for your faithfulness,
encouragement, and prayers.
Your Brother in Christ,
Nathaniel~E.P.
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